Forgive Him Blu
by Dinkdidnothingwrong
Summary: Bonzo Madrid brought his army to kill Ender Wiggin that day. A songbird A joke And his first. Now he wants to make amends with two of them, and hopefully fix himself. [ Blu and Grant are both kinda OC's but I'm the only person still writing here so suck it ]


_If you'll be my star, I'll be your sky._

He was still. Too still. Bernard was panicking, holding him like he was broken. God, he was trying to look at me, wasn't he? Like some kind apology for dragging us all into this. Bonzo you fool, why can you predict my inability to care for myself but not see your own death coming?

 _You can hide underneath me and come out at night._

He chose to haunt the lauchie instead of me. Of course he did. He saw that broken little songbird, wings jaxxed and friendless. Bernard was so moldable, whatever he wanted he could make him. He saw that in me once. Taught me to be strong-willed and loyal, emotional but cold at the same time. But I was just a test run. I got to watch as he used my example to shape the others, and as he realized he liked the finished product more than the test run.

 _When I turn jet black, and you show off your light,_

He never left me, though. I was his first, and he doesn't seem to forget firsts. His first real friend, his first fight, his first outlet. I'd walk along with the rest of them, but he had new friends now. The joke and the songbird were at his side always, and despite my strength there really wasn't anyway to get past them. He had made his choice, and the first wasn't left or forgotten, just…pushed aside.

 _I live to make you shine~_

I helped him with this plan too. He told me about in passing, expecting me to talk him out of it. Like an idiot, I didn't. Hell, I encouraged it. I would help him kill the bugger, and he would want me back. All those early years, with the late nights and meaningless insults and dark secrets. He used to tell me everything. The military goons that watched him for all those years, and they don't even know the things I do. He'll hold them for the rest of his years in wherever, forgetting that I have them, that he's not bullet proof, and that I cant hold my tongue forever.

 _But you can skyrocket away from me,_

The things I've already told about you, the way I've ruined you in the eyes of your songbird. Though, he wont hold onto them for long, you're too much of a martyr. He praise you in everything, letting no one destroy your memory. Guess I'm a threat to your sainthood and a target to the bully king that is Bernard Roche. Don't worry Madrid, my lips are sealed. But every man has his price, and the bidders know how to break me.

 _And never come back if you find another galaxy_.

I refuse to be ashamed. I refuse to weep for what I've done. He won't weep for me when I arrive. He'll drag me down with the rest of them, and there will be nothing but us, the corrupted souls of the past era. One day the joke and songbird will call for him, but he won't hear, because he'll realize that this entire time, he just needed me back, someone to spend late nights with and jokingly insult and tell all the horrible things he tried to do when he was alive. And this time, I won't tell anyone.

 _Far from here with more room to fly,_

"You left me. You forgot me."

"I did no such thing Blu. You just took a very long time to get here."

"You want the songbird."

"I've spent many years with Perico. He'll understand if I take a few months to greet an old friend."

"You prefer the joke."

"Grant's life has made him jaded and distant and far beyond my help. He'll rejoin us one day, but he'd want you to be happy in his place."

 _Just leave me your starlight to remember you by._

"You've left me, you've forgotten me, and now you deny that we little more than weapons. You won't fix Grant and you won't fool me. Go back to your songbird." I rolled up my pants sleeve, and untied the ribbon there. Fine, beautiful embroidered silk, saying nothing more than, "l-ewwel, l-aħħar, il-bla tama."

"Take it back to wherever you stay Madrid, and let me be a forgettable start."


End file.
